By Sebastian “Cam” Ortiz Briones
I am a seedling,
Sprouted from various plants,
Unknown to who I am, a plant with no name.
Nourished by the giver, water.
I quickly learned I was unique, my own plant.
No book knew of me; I was undefined,
Careless and free, just a seedling by the bank.
I was given water to grow like my neighboring plants,
But some days, there was too much.
I began to drown, sinking into a puddle of self-doubt.
I’m not normal.
I can’t do this.
Broken and Disgusting,
Scars running deeper than the roots of those before me,
Pieced together.
Why can’t I be normal?
I’d ask this, every night.
Anytime I began to flourish, I’d get trampled,
Squashed under the snow, its pressure dampening my will to survive.
I longed to be like the other plants
Who know who they are; who they’ll become
Before even sprouting their leaves.
A Rose, a Lily, a Lupine.
I was an unknown seedling.
Who could I be?
Will I be a Jeffery Tree?
Or maybe a Ponderosa Pine?
Perhaps I’m not a plant but a parasite,
A pain to those around me,
Feeding off their success,
Like a snow plant, feeding off the pine trees around it.
I don’t want to be this,
A person who hurts those I love.
But maybe you don’t understand me.
I can learn to be helpful,
Use my medicine for swellings and sores,
Be a food source to the insects and birds.
I am a snow plant: vibrant and red, popping out of the forest.
I’m not an eyesore but a sight for sore eyes.
I grew to be strong despite the connotation of the word parasite.
I know what I am.
I’m not bad or evil.
And unlike my neighboring plants, I don’t need water to grow.
I can grow on my own, with the help of others.
I don’t need you, water.
I don’t need you anymore.
I’m not the same kid,
The kid who was bullied for being different.
I still have those emotions, frightened of what they’ll say,
But I’m learning.
I’m not just a parasite.
And some days, I’ll need you.
You are still my giver, my water.
I’ll learn to flourish without you, but I’ll appreciate your guidance.
And I’ll learn to bolster those around me.
They’ll help me grow into the person I want to become.
I once was a seedling ready to be my own.
Now I know I am not just a parasite, but a helpful snow plant,
Entrusted to nourish the plants and animals around me.
I’ll give to the beautiful rose
And strengthen my Jeffery tree.
I’ll give life to my unknown plant
And help him be free.
